It's a sad day for Marple Scouts when one of it's leaders decides to hang up his woggle and walk out of the now-legendary hut. And today, on valentines Day, of all days, Dan Hopwood has decided to do just that. He writes a frank and emotional open letter to all involved at Marple, but wishes us all of the best. Many will remember the good times, playing football in the summer, diving down crazy ravines (which he became famous for), and running successful games inside, on those cold winter nights. He remains a Networker, but will no longer be writing his Dans Says column. Good Luck, Dan. |
©Togmedia 2003 |
Latest News From: January 30, 2006
A Marple Scouts Christmas Carol |
DAN |
GUIDE HUT BURN OUT Probably the most distressing news of the weekend is that the Marple Guide Hut was burnt out sometime over the weekend. At time of going to press little is known of How? Why? or When. From a fly by visit the kitchen, small hall, toilet area was gutted. Certificates and camping gear are believed to have been lost in the blaze. All here at HQ wish the now homeless ( it seems) guiding community well. Related Stories - Dan Hopwood is now taking bets for them to move into/ takeover the Scout Hut in the near future. |
PINK RIBBONS SET FOR SCOUT HUT Marplescouts.co.uk can this week exclusively reveal that the Small Hall within Marple's Scout hut is set for a 4million pound revamp to accomodate the Homeless Girl Guide community. Having agreed hall sharing for the next two weeks the guides will take over the small hall for most evenings although it will not be up to the guides decorative standards till ribbons and bows have been put on the wall and the walls painted pink. Top guides Greevo, Barko and Totto told us " Never have we seen a more wretched hive of scumbag and villainy. How long was it since those flowers were changed? and why does this place reek of Old Spice?" Commenting on the decor they explained " Guiding is all to do with nice girly activities. How can we be expected to learn needlework and knitting under such poor lighting? And where is the ironing board kept in this place. A nice Pink Hue will bring a dearly needed feminine touch to the place and will help us all feel alot more at home and more welcome here." Many scouts are apprehensive of the guides immenant arrival, most controversially Explorer Leader Marshmallow saying "We will fight them on the sea, We will fight them on the beaches and we will fight them at arm wrestling." Interesting Indeed. Lets hope this timeshare of "a quiet hall, in rural location, close to the peak district." goes fine |
All Stories ©Togmedia 2003 |
DAN IN FOOTY SHOCKER Dan Hopwood's football career has finally taken off, with him and his tupenny bit side qualifying for the QUARTER FINALS of a national football competition. Having fought against teams full of grown men of the Territorial Army, as well as having easier games against his peers in the other Officer Training Corps, the team from |
Liverpool have hit the big time. Dan told us last night that "I want to take it each game as it comes. I've not discussed image rights just yet, but I'm told that being an unualified Scout Leader will help in negotiations. I owe it all to those Cobden-Kinder matches. |
It's a sad day for Marple Scouts when one of it's leaders decides to hang up his woggle and walk out of the now-legendary hut. And today, on valentines Day, of all days, Dan Hopwood has decided to do just that. He writes a frank and emotional open letter to all involved at Marple, but wishes us all of the best. Many will remember the good times, playing football in the summer, diving down crazy ravines (which he became famous for), and running successful games inside, on those cold winter nights. He remains a Networker, but will no longer be writing his Dans Says column. Good Luck, Dan. |
ADI SOLD IN DAN AFTERMATH Following the sudden departure of Daniel Hopwood from Marple's Scout Leader community, Scouts have now taken the initiative to get rid of some of the more "duller" leaders. In an amusing fashion, Scout Leader Adrian Tognarelli was recently auctioned off from Marple Scouts by a group known as "The Scouts Union" on legendary auction site Ebay. He was posted up for several days while bids were made as to who wanted his top leadership skills. Bids came in from far afield, most interestingly from someone claiming to be Adrian's Triplet brother and offering as much as 32 English pence in 2 pence coins. Adrians mother is also alleged to have bid 13 pence to have him sent away to Moldova. Adrian is rumoured to be "furious" and "absolutely livid" about the affair, insisting he will find the scout responsible. On the internet, however, the plan backfired at the final moment. Having been destined for River Plate Scouts, Brazil, someone stole in and bid 76 pence with just seconds to go. John Dawson said "We couldn't do it without him. When I heard the news I broke ABN AMROs loan record and smashed the Marple execs transfer fee. He is still very much part of my plans here in Marple." Togsy'sTommy and Adi - angry right |
ON ITS WAY: NIPPY NOLAN JAMBOREE 2002 COBDEN NITE HIKE FEB 2003 KEITH AND JOHNS HOLIDAY DIARY |
FUN' S OVER The Lord Chancellor of Fun at Marple Scouts has given a gloomy fun forecast for the coming years and shocked city traders and scouts alike by announcing that FUN hours will be cut in half as the fun recession continues. Thomas Togs told the press conference: "After this the future doesn't look so bright, Marple's luck will change completely over night, Boredoms hand, will storm the land, with fun an all time low." Following this dooming of Marple scouts, Thomas announced that Fun hours will be cut during this, a time of Fun recession: "There aren't many fun hours about these days, we must be prudent. I admit that we have massively, but necessarily, overspent on Fun hours in the past years, but the boomtime is over. Fun hours will be cut on all camps, nights and activities. We need to halve the figures to make good economic Fun sense." Such changes will have dramatic consequences as Fun hours plummet, Marple's executive committee is expecting pickets and marches in opposition to the cuts. The leaders union has so far yet to comment but Albus Hopwood spoke in his wisened tongue "I have forseen this one coming for a long time. I will not tell you of the future." However some are obviously grateful for the cuts with comments like: "The scouts will have go to bed earlier," "Nights will no longer have to be interesting" and "this means they can do some work instead". The cuts will be in place in the near future with the Lord Chancellors Fun budget coming on February 29th this year. Thomas also explained that Fun hours would be more concentrated than ever despite being spaced out." We'll pack in more Fun than ever. We have to get our moneys worth from the system". The Marple scouting community now braces itself for a cold winter with a severe lack of Fun. |
Albus Hopwood and The legendary Fun Clock |
Marple Guides Go On.. Marple Guides are believed to have left their temporary Home at Scouts HQ and moved on to rented accomodation while beginning redesigning their new HQ. Ian Corbishley described their stay in the scout hut as "Amicable", but the guides are probably glad to get shut of the male dominated arena and back to better hygiene standards - according to Marple Rangers. Good luck on your quest guides. We hope you enjoyed your stay. |
More pictures at Marple-uk.com |
UPDATED |
EXPLORERS VAGUE NEWS Marplescouts.co.uk can exclusively reveal that it thinks it has discovered some intriguing news. Following coincidental meetings and things happening by chance, Marplescouts.co.uk suspects that several Explorers have been doing bad things they shouldn't. The bad things have occurred quite a number of times, at all hours of day and night it would seem. Such outrageous acts of badness have even lead to Explorer Leader Paulo Marshmallow supposedly speaking out " They're probably bad lads but might not have been caught doing such bad things at such unlikely hours." No one quite knows what bad things some of the Explorers were caught doing but Keith Frazer did tell us "It was really quite bad" and " It happened at all hours, really......, bad things at all hours, you're asking for trouble aren't you?". Micky Dyer responded "They'll probably be punished but I wouldn't put my house on it." No one is quite sure what will happen to them or what the consequences will be, suffice to say that anything could happen and that it is probable that something might. |
SPRITE AND NIPPY BATTER GANGSHOW AUDIENCE King of the ankle biters Nippy Nolan and his compadre, Dobby lookalike "Sprite" Jones have spoken out about apathy within Gangshow audiences and the lack of Passion shown by anyone watching the show. Having been allowed to speak to the press by Top show Prod. Steev Spreek they explained: " Audiences are usually more interested in eating their prawn sandwiches than watching the show, they are just there to say they've seen the red necker show when the seagulls follow the trawler it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea." "What we lack in Marple is real passion, proper support and respect for our show, too many of the audience couldn't care less, just glory hunters who want to be able to say they've seen the best in the North West." Sprite Jones backed Nippy up saying " The crowd can make and break a show, but they never seem to lift it. If we are to perform, then we need the best support. Recent crowds have been poor, uninterested and because of this they have watched lack lustre performances. You pay your money and take your pick but we really need the audience to help us. Kinder Scouts are the best and rowdiest,..... I can only dream of playing in front of a house full if Kinder ". Rumours are already circulating that whistles, large foam hands and rattles will be given out pre match to help raise the atmosphere, despite fears that Cub Scouts will blow them all through the show when they aren't supposed to. A safety Committee is to rule on the matter later in the month. |
Sprite on the Left Nippy on the right tucking into a juicy lemon |
